Why You Compare Yourself To Others & How To Stop Doomscrolling

Hello there everyone! I apologize for the posting delay—I know it’s been three weeks instead of two. I fear finals week caught up to me, but I am so excited to finally be done with my second year of college and moving along into the summertime! I say this as if I am not taking like 20 units over the summer and also have a summer job (oops). But hey at least I won’t have to sit in lectures for an hour and twenty minutes every day, right?

This week’s topic is something that I KNOW you have struggled with at one point in your life (if not many points), and that is… comparing yourself to others. We all do it, we all know it’s not healthy, but does that stop us? Not at all. The irony is the people who you compare yourself to who seem to have everything figured out and have their life together usually don’t. If you are reading this saying “Well, actually, I do feel I have my life together”, I am very happy for you (and a little jealous, too). But chances are, most of us do not have a clue what we are doing 95% of the time: this is why comparing ourselves is not beneficial for any party involved. So why do we still do it? Is there a psychology topic that explains why this happens?

Of course, there is, (and I swear there’s some psychological concept that can explain just about anything). I actually learned about this topic in my recent social psychology course that I took at UCR, so I will not be citing any research to back this up and will only be using what’s in my big ol’ brain, so bear with me. Also, after finals, let’s just say I cannot be bothered to read any more psychology studies/papers <3. 

Anyway, enough of me yapping, the psychological concept that I feel explains this issue the best is Social Comparison Theory! There are two directions to social comparison: upwards and downwards. In my interpretation, upward social comparison is essentially comparing yourself to those who you feel are “better” than you in any regard. What I find interesting in terms of upward social comparison is that if you find yourself to be similar to these people that you deem are better (maybe you are also high achieving or also have good grades), you feel confident and at ease. In contrast, feeling that you are different from these people who you deem “better” can create insecurity, which I feel is more common amongst the general population. If anything, I feel that comparing yourself to those who are also at the same level as you is merely to seek validation, which is okay if it’s not harming anyone, but typically, the root of comparison is the feeling of being “less than”. 

Downwards comparison in contrast is similar to how it sounds: it is essentially comparing yourself to those who you deem are less than/worse than you. You are basically validated again by being different from this group of people (e.g. being better than them). You can also feel worse about yourself if you find yourself similar to these people in any quality that you have (maybe you get the same grade on a test as a person that you deem less smart than you). 

Overall, not only is social comparison not beneficial for any party, but in my opinion, it has the potential to also be pretty mean. Grouping people this way does not account for their individuality, and comparing yourself to people only ever makes you feel worse, or makes you feel better by “being better”, which isn’t exactly a healthy mechanism either. It’s not really someone’s place to judge who is better or who is worse, and it’s not even something that is viewed the same from person to person. Someone who gets B’s on their tests may seem to be smarter than someone who gets C’s, but to someone who gets all A’s, this person would be in the “worse” group. 

“What on Earth Does This Have to Do With Doom-Scrolling?”

The reason I have brought doom-scrolling into this mix is because I believe it is one of the main culprits of social comparison. Constantly having access to a variety of different kinds of people at all times of the day can be extremely damaging. You are consistently exposed to people that you have the opportunity to compare yourself to when you doom-scroll, whether it is an upward or downward comparison. 

Besides the fact that doom-scrolling breeds this comparison, it also releases too much dopamine into the brain with every scroll, thus damaging your brain and leading the way for conditions like ADHD, anxiety, and even depression to bloom. We all know it is bad for you, and yet, like most things, it feels too addicting to stop. So how do we finally put the phone down and not feel attached to scrolling? Here are my own tips and tricks that I feel have helped me. 

1. Find Habits That You Actually Enjoy To Replace Screen Time

For me, this usually includes reading, yoga, meditation, going to the gym, and more! To make sure that I keep on track with my habits and minimize phone usage, I have a daily checklist that I go through and gradually check off my habits throughout the day! That way, I am taking steps to care for my mental and physical health every day!

2. Touch Some Grass (literally)

Going outside, doing exciting new activities, and going on adventures, literally just spending any time in nature helps to distract me so much from my phone and resist the urge to doom-scroll. The fact of the matter is, when you’re not really paying attention when you’re outside, chances are you’ll miss something really beautiful!

3. Opt for long-form content instead of short-form

In my own life, this means choosing to watch YouTube or Netflix as opposed to TikTok. Scientifically, long-form content is just better for you and your attention, and it doesn’t release excess neurotransmitters in the brain in the same way that short-form content does. I also find that looking at apps like Pinterest that are relaxing and have an array of photos (not just one singular video every time you scroll) helps me with this as well!

Honestly, I could go on and on about how to quit doom-scrolling and comparing yourself. But then this post would be super long (and it honestly already is I fear). I hope any of this information was helpful, whether you took something away from my anti-doom-scrolling tips or finally put a name to why you keep comparing yourself. Remember that just because summertime is a time when you can (and should) rest, you can still treat your mind and body healthily by choosing alternate options to doomscrolling that benefit you! Thank you for tuning in this week, and I will see you in two weeks for our next issue!

Love Your Favorite Undergrad, 

-Apama <3